Anger as Self Help Mechanism

Years ago, I was ranting about low pay in this country and how everyone deserved a living wage. The person I was with asked what my salary was (they were close enough to ask the question and already had misgivings about my job at the time). I told her, and she said, "Hmmmm. No wonder you're so angry about wages."

It gave me pause, and it was true.

I still believe a living wage is a right, and that a lot of welfare that is supposedly paid to 'feckless individuals' is actually a form of corporate subsidy - that wages are artificially low and rents artificially high because corporations & landlords know the government will top up criminally low salaries.

But my excessive, unproductive anger was a result of it being a very personal. I was being underpaid for my skill level, and my response should have been to move on (and I did, soon after).

Self Care & Martyrdom

Pictured: Delicious Smoothie. Does not prevent cysts.

Recently I got pretty het up about this article.

I've had a similar health scare lately, although luckily it didn't require surgery.

I don't think the lady who wrote this and I would get along.

She felt betrayed and let down when she got an ovarian cyst, because she had, "spent most of my life eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly, and strongly believed in a preventive, holistic approach to disease."

Oh fuck off. So what, that means that women who don't follow your particular brand of woo deserve ovarian cysts? At least it's consistent with the 'holistic approach to disease / I don't understand how medicine works' attitude. She also 'balks at even mild painkillers' and gets upset about the anaesthetic - I mean, would she prefer open surgery without it?

Later, she demands a metaphorical cookie for not using the morphine she is supplied with, putting it down to a 'strong constitution'. Apart from the patronising, ableist, bullshit implication that people who need pain relief are weak (as opposed to strong), there is nothing edifying or worthy about putting yourself through unnecessary pain.

Self Help

Then I realised why I was so angry about this. I do exactly the same thing.

Cysts are super common and often develop for no reason.

Yet, when I had my health scare, I convinced myself it was my fault for having a (mildly) wild youth. I had bought into the kind of bullshit the writer peddles just as much, just from the opposite direction. That kind of self blame is magical thinking, just as much as thinking vegetables & exercise will prevent cysts.

As for the pain relief - well I frequently try to endure pain when I shouldn't. I'll lie awake in agony several nights of every month, rather than take an ibouprofen, because I have the bullshit idea that NSAIDs will extend my period. I'll ignore a headache because I feel like I 'should' be able to - and other pain will simply be ignored. I'll tell myself that masking the pain will stop me from fixing the actual problem. Whereas, in reality, sometimes I have a headache because I'm tired. A paracetamol and a good night's sleep will fix the problem far more effectively than simply enduring pain, pointlessly.

Takeaway

Anger can be justified and straightforward. It can also be your brain's way of telling you something. Consider how the subject of your anger relates to your everyday life, and go from there.