Student Midwives Showcase Why UK Women Don't Trust Them

A few years ago, there was a programme called "One Born Every Minute" where a midwife crowed about tricking a woman out of an epidural.

It sparked a Mumsnet discussion about labour experiences.

There were also discussions on midwifery forums. Staggeringly blinkered discussions between people with no sense of self awareness or irony.

One in particular, started off in a reassuring manner. They discussed the problems with access to anaesthetists, slashed budgets, a few bad apples. They were angry and upset at the way midwives were being portrayed, and wondering why women distrusted midwives.

All very nice, and utterly understandable.

They then proceeded to illustrate exactly why British women do not trust midwifery care.

The words "belief" and "opinion"crept in - concepts that have no place when it comes to medically proven techniques. And some really nasty views and opinions were expressed.

• 'wannabamidwife' suggested that women who wanted epidurals were "entitled", because pregnancy is 'not an illness'. 

• 'Mkunga' says "If epidurals were never invented, how many of these woman would have coped with labour because they had to??" as though that's at all relevant. People used to cope using whiskey and laudanum during surgery before anaesthesia was developed. That doesn't mean it's acceptable to do now. 

• 'Strawberry' was a particularly disturbing individual, and I hope I never have the misfortune to have that person as a midwife. They describe women who have had bad labours as "angry and exaggerating'"people who "haven't a clue". They also suggest that "epidurals are a priviledge (sic) not a right!!"

Despite their assertion that they had no agenda to push, most of them expressed a very clear agenda. One admitted she resented women who had epidurals because she didn't get the option.

They were more upset by people expressing honest experiences of objectively poor care than they were that people in their profession had provided poor care, and in some cases, left women with PTSD.

Their characterisation of birthing mothers was as angry, clueless, entitled fools who should be grateful they weren't labouring in a mud hut. They classed the desire for pain relief as entitled and privileged. They spewed vitriol, were incredibly rude about their patients, expressed hostility and jealousy toward their OBGYN colleagues, and frankly, could barely string a sentence together.


These are supposed to be university educated medical professionals.

This unprofessional, contemptuous attitude toward birthing women is not unusual.

It was disturbing, and nasty, and cemented my decision that I would rather save up and pay for a private c-section (despite the greater risk to me) than give birth in a Midwife Led Unit. 

Radical Choices and Myopia in Politics

By Hirsute2008 (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0), GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Our society's attitude to body hair is really weird. It was really difficult to find a image of a woman's body hair that wasn't politicised, sexualised or an object of mockery.

Body hair is hot topic in both choice and radical feminism, where regular women who need an income are often caught in the middle between the irritating and unfair amount of money and time they are expected to spend on grooming for work, and unworldly rad fems who work in academia, or for non profits, and think intact body hair is the only correct or laudable choice. The latter seem to lack the ability to see that if you work in the non academic private sector, or in the retail / service industry, refusing to remove your body hair could actually cost you your job. It might be couched in terms of 'appropriate grooming' or 'dress code' or veiled feedback. But the pushback and consequences are real. And if the 'choice' is between employment or body hair, most women will shave their damn legs. 

Fair? No. But even less fair is the inability of supposedly clued up and intelligent women to recognise that the idea of choice can be a laughable concept in a world with a historical and current atmosphere of oppression.

The Problem With Radical Feminism

TDLR? Radical feminists decry the evils of choice feminism while making the same mistakes.

For example; one patronising and irritating rad fem article "It allows them to earn the benefits society gives women who don’t challenge male supremacy while comforting themselves with the idea that their behavior... is feminist." It doesn't explore or recognise the very real costs of challenging male supremacy, or why a woman might not want to fight every single battle she encounters. It fails to even examine situations where the choice is simply not there. In my experience, when I have engaged in even mild pushback on 'male supremacy' there have been real, unpleasant, and sometimes dangerous consequences. 

Sometimes it's been worth it. Sometimes it was pointless. Sometimes it would have been better - for me - if I had I kept my head down and my mouth shut.

Every single radical feminist I have met has been white, immensely privileged and has criticised other women for working and participating in 'patriarchal structures'. They can inexplicably manage to work part time or not at all, which is usually the result of inherited wealth, government assistance or financial dependence on another person. Consequently, they have more freedom, time, energy and disposable income than most women who work for wages.

The Twin Pincers of Radical Feminism and Patriarchy

I grew up in a patriarchal, religious household and I work in a male dominated field. As a result, I hate being told what to do, or how to act. I hate conformity of all stripes, and hate the idea that there is one 'right' way of doing things. I hate people telling me what to do with my body, whether it's a teacher telling me to dress more modestly or a peer telling me to dress more sexily or a rad fem telling me that the makeup that sometimes makes me feel good - and that I have to wear to (in reality) keep my job makes me anti-feminist. I hate when people tell me how women should be. 

As a result, I can see why women are drawn to the seeming warmth and comfort of 'choice feminism'. Because guess what - if you are a rad fem, you aren't helping. You aren't going to provide me with an alternative skill set or job so I can pay my bills. You aren't doing anything practical to replace patriarchal structures. You apparently don't have to work for a living, or else you work in jobs where you can say or do or wear anything you like and think it's the same for everyone else. 

Radical feminism is no better, or even very different, from patriarchy or kyriarchy or organised religion or any other group attempting to impose their arbitrary and wearying views on me. You are nothing more than yet another person telling me how to live my life and patronisingly informing me why I'm not measuring up.
While choice feminism argues that every choice is feminist (not true), radical feminism fails to acknowledge that not all choices are possible.

And that's not good enough.

Choice and the Sex Trade

To me, choice feminism is a fucking curse.

It ignores societal limitations on women's freedoms and elevates choices that are not even remotely feminist to a virtuous level - simply because they are being made by someone who identifies as female. Sexual choices are a particularly controversial part of the mix.
For example, a female choosing to cosplay as a Gorean sex slave is a choice. It is not one I feel any obligation to approve of or respect. The Gor books were written by a man called John Norman who explicitly stated that he feels female submission is the 'natural order of things'. His works decry consent as unnecessary and unnatural. His works are so egregiously offensive that fellow fantasy author Michael Moorcock has said, "I’m not for censorship but I am for strategies which marginalize stuff that works to objectify women and suggests women enjoy being beaten."

This is distinct from BDSM as a lifestyle, as BDSM is consensual, and also features male slaves and female dominants. It is also distinct from a woman who 'chooses' to be in the sex trade. It's a choice where a female is endorsing and participating in a subjugation that is still very real problem for many women across the world - as a hobby. 

Choice and the Sex Trade

Rachel Moran

Brooke Magnanti (better known as Belle du Jour) chose to be a £300 an hour prostitute in London, in order to help fund her doctoral studies. In Rupert Everett's documentary, 'Love for Sale', both she and Everett belittled dismissed a woman called Rachel Moran, who had been forced into prostitution as a child - because Moran had inconveniently pointed out that not all sex work was empowering and glitzy.

It could successfully be argued that both women should have had the choice of another (better?) source of income, and that Magnanti had choices the other woman did not. 

Magnanti is intelligent, accomplished and in some ways very admirable. She also lacks empathy, is solipsistic, and like many of the 3rd wave feminists she hates, doesn't understand the intricacies of choice and agency. 

For example, she maintains that if your job doesn't give you enough maternity leave, you can choose to find another job. Something that would work as a philosophy if it were a problem with one or two employers and not an endemic issue. And is probably an option for her, as she's a highly educated research scientist and published author who has won numerous awards. 
The failure to recognise that other people have different or fewer choices than you do is immensely damaging.